Project Pamper Me

You know how sometimes you know something, but still: you manage to forget its meaning and import in your life?

I occasionally lead a retreat – a retreat that I created – called “Sabbath and the Busy Person.” Its focus is on breaking open the meaning of the 3rd Commandment to Keep Holy the Sabbath, and understand that it’s calling us to more than just worship.

Sabbath is about stopping. Not doing. Just being. Refreshing the soul. Re-creating our passion and joy through recreation. Reconnecting with our best selves and the God who created us.

After juxtaposing the theological concept of Sabbath with the reality of our lives, I offer the practical wisdom of Stephen Covey’s 3rd Habit: Put First Things First. In addition to Covey’s time management insights, I also use spiritual insights from Robert Wicks’ Availability. When you’re “too available,” giving to everyone but yourself, you’re sabotaging your own efforts. When you’re tapped – completely wiped out – you’re no good to anyone.

You need to take care of yourself, if for no other reason than to be a better you.

I know this. I teach it. I lead reflections and retreats on it. And yet I manage to forget it.

All. The. Time.

One of my favorite recent insights is how wonderful it’s been to have discovered the joy of having a hobby. I have posted about my new found hobby of Functional Art (see previous posts here and here), particularly with the addicting explosion of Pinterest. Not only do I enjoy actually doing these projects, but I find that when I do so, I’m able to turn my theologian-writer-teacher-mother brain off and focus only on creating something new. That in and of itself is a Godsend. Because when I do return to my busy-yet-wonderful-yet-stressful life, my brain is refreshed and energized.

I’m like: “Ooooh – so this is what people mean by ‘Get a hobby!'”

Shortly after the New Year, my Mom and I were having a conversation about trying to shift out of a negative mood. Mom was struggling with a multitude of things and wanted nothing more than to clear her mind of the anger, frustration, and hurt over a situation that was beyond her control. She had spent the morning trying to distract herself from it all by house cleaning, checking email, Facebooking, and whatnot. (Mom hasn’t yet discovered Pinterest, which may explain why she was not able to fully distract herself.)

Mom had the right idea, but the problem with her modes-of-distraction were that they were just time-filling tasks. She didn’t really enjoy any of them. In fact, they tended to drain her energy more than fill her up.

When you need to change your energy, when you need to refresh and re-energize, you need to do something you love. Just. For. Fun.

About a week after my conversation with my Mom, my friend Stacey emailed a few in the girlfriend group whom she recalled having some success with what she called “Project Pamper Me.”

I am feeling…stretched thin…doing everything for everyone all the time, and I am feeling like I just want someone to take care of me!

And…I realized I should pamper and spoil myself like I do for others. I had this realization this morning while simultaneously making the family’s lunches, breakfasts, snacks for the day, fixing their hair, filling out school paperwork all while they ate and I bustled around. And I thought: Man, I would like to sit down.

So…I’ve decided I want to start pampering myself daily…but that’s where I get stuck. What to do? How? So far I have been just sitting in front of the TV…I haven’t even brushed my teeth because I am so drained from giving everything to others and not myself. And I don’t really feel like Teen Mom 2 is the kind of pampering I need…

How do I make myself get up and do something good for myself when I just want to wallow?

What are some long terms ways I can pamper myself – and keep in mind: I don’t want one more “to do” that I need to do to stay healthy. Help!?!

Stacey’s complaint, assessment, and hope-yet-concern resonated deeply. One of the reasons I have been so WOW-ed by my new-found “hobby” of crafting is that it really is something I enjoy for me. And doing it recharges me.

Our group of girlfriends used to do yoga as our “Project Pamper Me” – sometimes as a group, other times individually. And we loved it. And it’s been a while since any of us have done it. In some way, I’ve heard each of us express the desire to return, but we each have a stressed out “how can I fit this in?” attitude about yoga. So far it has been too much. And “too much” doesn’t bring anyone joy.

So Teacher-Julie came up with a 3-Part Plan, and Kari and Amalour added insights to flesh it out.

Project Pamper Me’s 3-Part Plan:

Step 1: Identify the things you like to do that are just for you and bring you joy.

Make a mental list. Or a real paper one. Get your mind around what it is, what way it needs to function to be for-you, by-you. And maintain that approach. I can’t just do crafts “for” other people (on demand), because then it becomes a thing. Even if I ultimately give something to other people, if my hobby is to be rejuvenating and re-joy-infusing, they need to flow from me. Not from others.

Kari suggests:

Make a list of the things you enjoy that are just for you (include big and small things, i.e. pedicure, massage, movie, crafts, reading, going for a walk, sitting in the sun, taking a bubble bath, etc)
Make it for you, to relax you and bring you joy! (Not another task to be done!)

Amalour is someone who knows how vital relaxation can be to physical health. She’s in the process of beating an aggressive form of breast cancer. For the second time. After a full mastectomy. With a husband and three children under the age of seven. She offered some of her own personal approaches to Project Pamper Me:

Fit in at least two soaking baths a week, during the day when all the kids are away. I really take my time and totally relax.
Sit out in the sun for a while and get those good melatonin juices flowing.
Once in a while, get a sitter to feed and put the kids to bed. Then go to a cafe or Starbuck’s and read. Just get a break from the most frustrating part of the evening.
Grab a healthy lunch somewhere alone… somewhere I can get served.
When I haven’t gotten the me-time before the kids are home (and find I really need it), Tell them: “I need a little break, absolutely do not disturb me.” Make sure they have a snack, and go take a power nap or ready/study.

Step 2: Do that thing.

Make sure you’re staying true to the unblemished form of the hobby that brings you joy.

Step 3: Make a commitment to yourself to integrate it in to your life.

Sometimes integrating it in to my day is too difficult. But I can do a weekly commitment to care for myself.

Kari suggests integrating into daily life:

To implement it daily make sure you have a bunch of small things on the list – not just big things. That way, when you don’t have a lot of time you can still take 10-20 min for you!
I get in the TV trap too when I’m feeling worn out. Sometimes I choose to go with it and don’t feel guilty. Other times, I take a bubble bath and read a book. Definitely find some way, big or small, to pamper yourself daily.
If it makes it easier, pick the same time everyday.
If it doesn’t happen one day don’t beat yourself up, just start again the next day!

Amalour has the planning part down:

Look at the coming week’s schedule and block out the me-time. Because for me, it’s not always the same time of the day every day.
Make sure to leave ample time; don’t feel rushed.
In general, try not to schedule so much errand-running around.

Whatever we choose to do for me-time, be it a hobby or an indulgence, taking care of ourselves has to be a priority. Think of it as a Sabbath Moment; the time in which you get a chance to rest, reflect, and re-energize. It is in these moments which we remember to rejoice in the beauty of Creation. And it is through these moments which we become our best selves.

If you’re still not convinced, I leave you with the words of Robert Wicks:

If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for those you love.

rejuvenation.self.care.logo by guttersnipe.76](https://www.flickr.com/photos/guttersnipe76) licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest Feb 8,2012

Humility, Scripture, Suffering, Transformation

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A Worker in the Vineyard

Think about a time in your own life when you were pretty much at your (emotional/spiritual) rock-bottom low. What insight did you gain about life and faith from that difficult time? How did that insight come about? Who or what helped make that happen?

My own lowest-low time came when I was 24 years old. Just three weeks short of what would have been my first wedding anniversary, my spouse never came home one evening, which in itself was significant, but it was a pressing concern because we had plans to drive to his sister’s for an overnight visit. Upon returning close to midnight, he casually responded to an offhand remark I made by revealing that he didn’t want to be married, had never wanted to get married, and thought we should just “break-up.”

And just like that, life as I knew it changed forever. Once I recovered from the shock and came to understand that there was no chance of reconciling, I picked up the shattered pieces of my life and vowed to learn, fix, heal, and ultimately become a better, stronger, and more whole person.

One of the most difficult pieces of this process was coming to terms with my own Crisis of Faith. I was a theology teacher—teaching New Testament Scripture to high school sophomores—at the time. I had a Bachelor’s degree in theology. I was not only committed to my Catholic, Christian faith, but I had specific, poignant conversations with my estranged spouse during our 17 month engagement about the Sacrament of Marriage, about the Covenant which we would be entering into, and about how divorce was not an option. Not for me, anyhow.

An excellent therapist helped me dissect the unhealthy dynamics and patterns which led to this whole situation, but I was still left with the God question:

I had responded to God’s call to be a teacher of faith.
I had given my life to God.
How could God have allowed this to happen to me?

When I returned to my classroom after taking a week off to get my head together, I told my students that I was “going through a difficult time,” which was an understatement, but it was all that I could muster. It was incredibly difficult to be teaching about the faith when I was so very angry, confused, hurt, and broken in my own relationship with God.

So it was in this context when I happened to assign a Critical Thinking Reflection on the “Workers in the Vineyard” parable (Matthew 20:1-16).

Jesus told his disciples this parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out at dawn to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with them for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. Going out about nine o’clock, the landowner saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and he said to them, ‘You too go into my vineyard, and I will give you what is just.’ So they went off. And he went out again around noon, and around three o’clock, and did likewise. Going out about five o’clock, the landowner found others standing around, and said to them, ‘Why do you stand here idle all day?’ They answered, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You too go into my vineyard.’

When it was evening the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Summon the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and ending with the first.’ When those who had started about five o’clock came, each received the usual daily wage. So when the first came, they thought that they would receive more, but each of them also got the usual wage. And on receiving it they grumbled against the landowner, saying, ‘These last ones worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who bore the day’s burden and the heat.’ He said to one of them in reply, ‘My friend, I am not cheating you. Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what is yours and go. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? Or am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?’ Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

As I facilitated a class discussion with the 15 year olds, one kid raised his hand and earnestly asked:

I just don’t understand how this is fair. How can it be ok to give the same amount to all-day workers and those that only worked an hour?

Still a novice teacher at the time, instead of prompting him to think it through or asking other classmates to respond, I sought to answer his question directly. And when I did, I heard the truth that God was trying to speak to me come out of my own mouth:

The workers think they “deserve” something more because of their efforts, but that’s not how God works. We don’t earn it. God’s Kingdom is offered to us, and we either say yes or no. God loves, gives, and forgives with generosity.

Or are you envious because God is generous?

The kid paused for a moment and said “Hmm, I never thought about it like that”. And there I am standing in front of a class of 36 students, apparently continuing to facilitate a discussion, thinking to myself, “Me neither, kid… me neither”.

How could God have allowed this to happen to me?

Yep. I thought I “deserved something more” because of my efforts. I couldn’t believe I actually had a sense of entitlement. With God.

The last will be first and the first will be last.

It’s like when we were in elementary school and would race to be first in line (for almost everything). There was actually a sense of superiority that being first had for those at the front. As an adult, I see how juvenile the need to be first was; I mean we’d all be going to the same place. I can imagine how frustrated God must get with us for fixating on this juvenile need, and then getting all irate at the perceived injustice of someone “cutting in line.”

With greater humility, I began to look at my situation, which was honestly the consequence of actions. God’s care, concern, and presence enveloped me in the network of support from friends and family.

Just as my divorce and annulment were a turning point in my personal journey, this insight from the “Workers in the Vineyard” parable was a turning point in my faith.

This was my story. This was my insight. This was my process. How about you?

And so I conclude as I began:

Think about a difficult time in your own life.
What insight did you gain about life and faith from that difficult time?
How did that insight come about?
Who or what helped make that happen?

“Harvesting Grapes © Depositphotos.com/Bunyos30″

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest Sep 19,2011

Friendship, Love

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Friends

I love my friends.

They know me through-and-through and love me all the more. Their genuine care and concern for my well-being is as warm as their hugs. I delight in their presence, savoring the moments of quality time, the great conversations, the honesty, the fun, and the laughing. The laughing is the best.

Can you relate?

Friendship has lots of categories: good-friends, old-friends, Mom-friends, family-friends, work-friends, Facebook Friends… and they’re all good.

Let’s take a closer look at “Facebook Friends.” Facebook has helped me reacquaint myself with a slew of old friends from different points in my life, especially since I’ve moved around quite a bit. In addition to high school and college friends, I’ve even reconnected with my best friend from childhood. Some “friends” from Facebook are just in the social network, more akin to friendly acquaintances. Some offer a lot of “water-cooler-didja-hear-about” conversation, which as a work-from-home-mom, I totally appreciate and enjoy. Though, I think the thing I enjoy most about FB friends is the way in which we know about what’s going on in each other’s lives. When someone shares joy, I smile with them. When someone shares pain, I gather them in my thoughts and prayers. And how about the birthday-love from FB friends? It’s certainly a different version of friendship than my grandmother experienced, but it’s community all the same. At least it has the potential to be…

Whether it’s online or in-person, friendship is about community. It is a community with whom we have fun; it is a community who challenges us, comforts us, supports us, and cheers us on.

And within this community of friends, different people have different roles.

Beyond the “BFF” label (meaning “Best Friends Forever” – and yes, Mom, that was for you), there are certain people in our lives that are part of our “inner circle.” These are the close friends you appoint to a place of honor in your life. I once knew a woman who called this group her “Personal Board of Directors.” (My husband refers to it as “The Brain Trust.”) These are the folks who we tend to check in with regarding our life decisions and the ones with whom we cannot wait to share any “big” news. We may not always agree with the counsel offered by members of our Board, nor do we always follow their advice. However, we certainly listen to what they have to say – good or bad – because we value their input.

Who have you appointed to your own Personal Board of Directors?

The friendships filled with philia love can touch us so deeply that they may even bring the Divine Presence into our lives. In Touching the Holy, Robert Wicks identifies four different kinds of friends that it is important to have in our lives. (Though Wicks notes that it’s certainly possible for one friend to have multiple roles).

[Note: I also recommend The Work of Your Life: Sustaining the Spirit to Teach, Lead, and Serve, by Catherine Cronin Carotta (Harcourt 2003), which offers a summary of Wick’s four friends, presenting them in the context of discerning one’s calling.]

The Prophet This is the friend who points out the truth. “Prophets challenge us to look at how we are living our lives” (99). Prophets prompt us to examine whether we are listening to God’s voice and following our values or if we are being swayed by “other” voices. When the prophet-friend asks, “What’s that about?” it makes us think. This is the friend who will speak the difficult truth (with love), despite discomfort or pain.

Many friends have been the “prophetic voice” in my life, but Theresa and Stacey stand out as examples for me because of how and why they speak the truth.

Who are the Prophetic Friends in your life?

The Cheerleader We all need people in our lives who offer the cheerleader’s unabashed, enthusiastic, unconditional acceptance. This is the person who helps us see the reflection of the loving face of God more readily in ourselves and others. When we’ve had a difficult day, this is the person we turn to for loving support and encouragement because they say just the right thing to nurture our own self love. The cheerleader is the friend who offers the presence of God’s mercy and love. This is the friend “who gets joy out of seeing the footprints of God in our personality” (102). “Warm friends represent the incarnational love of God in our lives” (106).

My Grandpop was perhaps the greatest cheerleader there ever was. I’m proud to say that my Mom and my sister, Laurie continue Grandpop’s legacy of enthusiasm and acceptance. I can’t wait to share news with them because they triple my own excitement. When I need affirmation, I call them. In their love and support, they remind me of God’s goodness dwelling within me.

Who are the Cheerleader Friends in your own life?

The Harasser This is the friend who helps keep us from taking ourselves too seriously. The harasser makes us laugh – especially at ourselves. Through friendship with the harasser, we avoid emotional burnout and/or unrealistic expectations of ourselves. “This type of friend helps us regain and maintain perspective.”

My husband, Peter takes the cake on this one. Probably because he enjoys mocking… Nevertheless, he helps me laugh at myself, especially when I’m being completely unreasonable or unrealistic. April stands out as another great example of a good harasser friend, especially when she’d pull out the Yiddish.

Who are the Harasser Friends in your own life?

The Spiritual Guide “We will never cease to need an array of spiritual guides to help us deal with our unrecognized and unnecessary fears, to help us appreciate the need for proper detachment, and to lead us to a sense of enthusiasm and perspective in a world strained by anxiety and confusion” (109). This friend helps us identify our deepest fears, soulful longings, and treasured values. This is the person who helps us process experiences in our quest to make meaning of our lives.

At different times in my life, different people have served in this role. In high school, the adults and leaders in my youth group (Antioch) were my spiritual guides. In college, it was Karl. In grad school at Boston College, I found spiritual guides in Theresa, Andrea, Kyle, and Jerry. My friend Julie is a good spiritual companion. Sometimes I looked to counselors and spiritual directors to fill this role. I also turn to good books and special places to nurture and challenge me spiritually. I don’t necessarily talk with the friends whom I consider “spiritual guides” on a regular basis. But when we do talk, we speak with ease and with depth.

Who are the Spiritual Guide Friends in your own life?

Wicks points out that these four friends help to balance each other out. Too much cheerleader and not enough prophet might make a person a bit full of themselves… too much prophet and not enough cheerleader might make a person down on themselves… So we need all four kinds.

Which is good, because I have each of these friends. Moreover, I want each of these friends in my life. I am a better me because of these friends. And I want to be this kind of friend to others.

This is what I mean when I say: I love my friends. Can you relate?

“Friendship © Depositphotos.com/Hannamariah”

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest Sep 16,2011

Hope, Suffering

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Rising from the Ashes

I had always imagined one’s honeymoon would involve sand, sun, and saltwater (probably because the bulk of my family vacations were spent on the beach). So while planning our spring 2004 wedding, when Peter suggested we honeymoon at Yellowstone National Park, I was a bit taken aback. “We both love hiking and nature, and besides, it’s on my list.”

It’s on his list.

Though not the most convincing argument, I acquiesced, especially since he promised to set us up with quality lodging (no camping or “roughing it”).

Without a doubt, Yellowstone is spectacular. It should be on everyone’s list.

The geysers…

The hot springs…

The wildlife…

Each morning we would drive from the gorgeous Lake Yellowstone Hotel to a different area of the park. I started to notice some of the stark trees around the landscape…

Yellowstone showed the scars of fire. My heart broke to see the scars of such pain amid such beauty.

I remembered the intense “Summer of Fire” in 1988. I couldn’t believe we were still seeing the effects in 2004. My rocket scientist husband, who has a bit of the encyclopedic knowledge going on, explained that fires were an ongoing reality in Yellowstone, most of them sparked by lightning strikes. Like most people, I assumed that fires were bad. I got all Smokey the Bear: “Can’t they do anything to prevent forest fires? Or stop them?” As I shot off endless questions, Peter (who avidly avoids the phrase “I don’t know,”) suggested we tour the visitor center by Old Faithful, which told the Story of Fire at the National Park.

I hadn’t realized that there was such an allegory between “fire” and personal “pain and suffering.”

Conventional wisdom—and the average park visitor like myself—views fires as devastating, destroying everything in its path. We see fire suppression, on the other hand, as good stewardship.

Sounds a lot like our attitudes towards pain and suffering…

Turns out that the amazing scenery in Yellowstone has been shaped by fire; it is part of the ecosystem. The National Parks Service explains this ecological phenomenon in the educational resources on Yellowstone’s webpage (which, by the way, is where all Yellowstone fire-related facts and figures in this reflection come from):

Natural (lightning caused) “fires are the primary agent of change in many ecosystems”
“Many of Yellowstone’s plant species are fire-adapted.”
Some 80% of the park’s forest has pinecones that actually rely on the intense heat of fire to crack open the resin and release the seeds inside.
Fires actually stimulate the rebirth and growth of some plants.
While above ground grasses are consumed by the fires, the below-ground root systems typically remain unharmed, and even increase in productivity after a few years.

In the gift shop section of the visitor center, I picked up the book Fire: A Force of Nature: The Story Behind the Scenery, and was struck by a quote on the front page:

“Fire presents opportunities for new life that don’t exist until a burn.”

Isn’t that the truth.

Certainly my own greatest moments of personal growth have occurred in the aftermath of a painful crisis. The growth might range from learning a difficult lesson to forging a new, better, stronger path. Sometimes it prompts me to develop compassion, broaden my perspective, and practice empathy. Other times the crisis has me questioning decisions, priorities, and/or relationships.

Just as the amazing scenery in Yellowstone has been shaped by fire, the amazing person that I am has been shaped by personal pain and suffering.

I marvel at the idea that whatever part of me which was struck down by personal pain and suffering has somehow been rebuilt. This dynamic is at the heart of the Christian message: from death comes new life. Theologians use the phrase Paschal Mystery to refer to the suffering, death, and Resurrection of Christ. But the Paschal Mystery doesn’t just refer to what happened to Jesus. It points to the process of dying and rising that we experience in our everyday life.

And by referring to it as a “mystery” we reaffirm the fact that we don’t always understand how that new life occurs… yet we have faith that it will.

“Fire presents opportunities for new life that don’t exist until a burn.”

From death comes new life.

As marvelous as it is, it’s also important to see the word “new” in each of those phrases. New life. Different. Things will never be quite the same as they once were.

Anyone who has experienced personal pain and suffering resulting from the loss of a loved one can attest to that truth: Things will never be quite the same as they once were.

Moreover, let’s be honest: pain is real. Fire burns. No one is expected to cheer on suffering wearing a t-shirt that says, “Yay – growth!” That’s not what faith in the Resurrection is about.

I cringe when I hear phrases like:

What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.

Everything happens for a reason.

I know they certainly don’t bring me solace. I can’t imagine a Holocaust survivor or rape victim finding comfort in hearing any of these clichés, either.

The enormity of the Yellowstone “Summer of Fire” in 1988 was unprecedented. That summer was the driest in the park’s recorded history. The practice of allowing for “controlled burns” was called into question as the fires burned from June through September, threatening lives and homes in the greater Yellowstone region.

With controlled burns, a fire ignites naturally – with a lightning strike, firefighters monitor as Mother Nature does some “spring cleaning” through the burn, and the fire extinguishes naturally.

The fires that summer were just too big and too out of control.

A total of 248 fires started in greater Yellowstone in 1988; 50 of those were in Yellowstone National Park. Despite widespread misconceptions that all fires were initially allowed to burn, only 31 of the total were; 28 of these began inside the park. In the end, 7 major fires were responsible for more than 95% of the burned acreage. Five of those fires were ignited outside the park, and 3 of them were human-caused fires that firefighters attempted to control from the beginning.

Between the evil of arson, the enormity of the problem, and the imminent danger to others, Yellowstone National Park needed help.

More than 25,000 firefighters, as many as 9000 at one time, attacked Yellowstone fires in 1988.

There was a lot of damage.

Ecosystemwide, about 1.2 million acres was scorched; 793,000 (about 36%) of the park’s 2,221,800 acres were burned. Sixty-seven structures were destroyed, including 18 cabins used by employees and guests and one backcountry patrol cabin in Yellowstone.

Yellowstone was certainly affected by the fires, but all was not lost; it was not devastated; it was not destroyed.

The effects on many plants and animals are still being studied, although in the short-term, most wildlife populations showed no effect or rebounded quickly from the fiery summer. In the several years following 1988, ample precipitation combined with the short-term effects of ash and nutrient influx to make for spectacular displays of wildflowers in burned areas.

Contrary to what was feared, the fires of 1988 did not deter visitors. In 1989, more than 2,600,000 people came to Yellowstone—the highest annual visitation of the 1980s.

While we are in the midst of the flames of suffering, it is difficult. Even Jesus wept. But that is not the end of the story. From death comes new life. We are people of the Resurrection. Faith in new life is what it means to be a people of hope.

As a people of hope, withstand the fire. Understand that controlled burns are a part of life. Ask for help. And when rising from the ashes, be sure to identify and appreciate “spectacular displays of wildflowers” whenever you see them.

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest Sep 13,2011

Action, Projects, Transformation

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Take the Time to Do the Prep Work

I am a project person. From brainstorming to execution to reveling in the completed product, I love projects, especially the home-improvement, crafty, organizational ones. I think what I love most, however, is how much I have learned through doing projects. I’m not talking about the technical stuff, either. What I’m talking about is wisdom.

About four months ago, I decided to refinish some old, tired looking patio furniture from IKEA.

Originally purchased eight years ago, the set fit the necessary criteria: it had a TABLE and CHAIRS that we could AFFORD, and it was STURDY (at least sturdier than the plastic stuff). Neither ugly nor attractive (nor comfortable), we never really enjoyed the set. And after we got nicer stuff, it was pushed to the margins of the yard, somewhat functional, but hardly used.

Refinishing the set was going to be a four-step process:

Clean and Sand the Wood
Prime with an oil-based paint
Decoratively paint
Finish with polyurethane

In all honesty, I don’t necessarily enjoy every part of every step in any given project. Specifically, I neither enjoy cleaning years of caked on dirt and spider webs nor do I like sanding. But if there’s one thing you cannot skip it’s the prep-work.

Taking the time to do the prep work always pays off in the long run.

In the case of this project, I begrudgingly admitted to my insistent husband that yes, I wanted to avoid frustration when it came time to paint the chairs, and yes, I wanted my efforts to be long-lasting, so yes, I would take the time to clean and sand the wood. Yes, I would properly prime everything with the smelly, difficult-to-clean oil based paint.

In reality, “taking the time to do the prep work” applies to practically every aspect of our lives. Take the “PIES” model of self-examination: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Spiritual.

Physically, when we don’t properly warm up or train, slowly building up to the goal, we are more prone to hurt ourselves.

Intellectually, when we don’t do the necessary reading or studying in preparation for a class or a meeting, the parties involved experience the frustration of wasted time, and the failure to perform can have ever-widening implications on our jobs, our reputation with others, and even in our personal integrity.

Emotionally, taking the time to do the prep work can impact our ability to truly be in the present moment. Sometimes this is about coming to terms with where we are in the process of “change.” Other times, this is about working through “differences.” Acknowledging and attending to emotions helps us to be more present to one another in the situation at hand, rather than being fixated on the past or the future.

Spiritually, taking the time to do the prep work is about cultivating ourselves as people of justice. Spiritual prep work is about developing the moral character to be good people who do the right thing. It’s about becoming a person who means it when they pray, “Thy will be done.” It’s about setting aside the time to be with God in prayer while reflecting on life. It’s about aligning our whole selves with the folks to whom Jesus says, “Come, inherit the kingdom…For I was hungry and you gave me food.” (Matthew 25:34-35).

When we take the time to do the prep work, the finished product doesn’t just look awesome. It is awesome. Through and through.

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In what areas of your life do you take the time to do the prep work? In what areas do you need to be more attentive? How have you noticed the difference prep work makes in your own life?

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest Aug 30,2011

Tag Archives: reflection

Project Pamper Me

When you need to change your energy, when you need to refresh and re-energize, you need to do something you love. Just. For. Fun.

Project Pamper Me’s 3-Part Plan:

Step 1: Identify the things you like to do that are just for you and bring you joy.

Step 2: Do that thing.

Step 3: Make a commitment to yourself to integrate it in to your life.

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A Worker in the Vineyard

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Friends

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Rising from the Ashes

“Fire presents opportunities for new life that don’t exist until a burn.”

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Take the Time to Do the Prep Work

Taking the time to do the prep work always pays off in the long run.

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