Grace, Humility, Scripture, Spirituality, Virtue

Reflecting on the Litany of Humility

Have you ever prayed the Litany of Humility?

The beauty and wisdom of the Litany of Humility are especially evident in the way it manages to address both sides of our struggle with humility: pride and insecurity.

Both “too much pride“ and “too many insecurities“ are unhelpful, and both are violations of truth.

Humility is about LOVE

Humility is about loving God and knowing that you are loved by God, fully and completely.

There is no need to “desire“ God’s love. You already are loved by God, fully and completely. Have faith in God’s perfect love. Stand firm in the knowledge of that love.

Allow the truth of God’s perfect love to speak to any insecurities.

Anyone or anything that would give you the impression that you are not fully and completely loved by God, just as you are, is violating the truth of God’s perfect love.

Humility is about TRUTH.

Humility rejects the falsehood of TOO MUCH pride, arrogance, or self-centered ego.

Pride prevents us from honestly seeing ourselves before God.

The problem isn’t taking pride in a job well done… the problem is when we claim all glory, honor and praise for our accomplishments as our own, without recognizing that in truth, we only build upon and work with the gifts and talents God has given us.

Moreover, the problem isn’t receiving praise and honor… the problem is the desire.

Deliver me, Jesus, from the desires of my pride.

Humility also rejects the falsehood of TOO LITTLE confidence, which feeds insecurities and dwells on unworthiness.

Our God who again and again tells us “fear not” and “be not afraid” does not want us to feel insecure. Our God who blesses us with gifts and talents so that we may be the hands and feet of Christ to everyone we meet does not ask us to dwell on unworthiness.

Humility isn’t about unworthiness.

But before getting to “unworthiness,” there’s a TRUTH-related vocabulary word that needs clarity.

What is “calumniated” and how do you even say it?

Calumny [CAL-oom-nee] appears in the Catechism’s section on truth, following the Eighth Commandment (Thou shall not bear false witness), and refers to misrepresenting someone’s reputation, particularly with the intent to harm.

In the Litany of Humility, this speaks to that fear of being talked about behind your back. Ouch.

Deliver me, Jesus, from my fears and insecurities.

It’s Not About Worthiness

Far too often, we want to make our relationship with God about worthiness.

The Scripture passage about worthiness that we are most familiar with comes from the healing of the Centurion’s servant in Matthew 8:5-13, which we pray before receiving the Eucharist.

The Centurion asks Jesus to heal his servant. As Jesus agrees, the Centurion stops him with his powerful line, “Lord I am not worthy…” and goes on to express tremendous faith, “only say the word and my servant will be healed” (Matthew 8:8). Read this passage closely, and you’ll see that Jesus doesn’t disagree: the Centurion IS NOT worthy.

Of course, he’s not worthy. None of us are worthy. And if you’re the kind of person who struggles with the pride and ego side of humility, sit with this for a while.

Grace, mercy, love, and healing are gifts given by God, to us, freely. It’s not about worthiness; it’s never about worthiness. We should really stop making it about worthiness.

The Virtue of Humility

Humility is the virtue that asks you to:

know that you are completely and fully loved by God for who you are
stand firm in the truth
value God’s opinion of you more than the world’s
trust in God’s Grace and Mercy
use the gifts and talents that God has given you to glorify God by your life
recognize that you are a vessel and God is the source of those gifts and talents

Humility is not to be confused with humiliation, which is a violation of TRUTH. Humility doesn’t ask you to be a doormat, content with verbal, physical, or emotional abuse. But when you experience humiliation, the virtue of humility grounds you in the truth of God’s love, not the world’s opinion. Humility frees you to trust in God’s Grace and Mercy.

Humility asks you to keep your pride in-check. To remember that all that you have and all that you are extend from God’s goodness, love, and blessings. Humility takes all of the glory from all our accomplishments and uses it to give greater glory to God.

And in everything, humility relies upon the virtues of courage and wisdom; to courageously and wisely speak the truth with love.

Grant Me the Grace

The Litany of Humility invites us to explore the parts of the virtue of humility that you may find uncomfortable.

Through the Litany of Humility, petition God: Deliver me from my desires and fears… and grant me the grace to desire those aspects of humility that I still struggle with.

Please feel free to print and share my Litany of Humility graphic, available in PDF.

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest May 16,2019

Action, Grace, Hope, Human Dignity, Humility, Joy, Leadership, Life, Love

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Going the Distance: On Heartbreak, Hope, and Love

My kids, ages 8 and 9 1/2, were registered to do their third Kids-Triathlon.

First Tri in 2014

Second Tri in 2015

And then three weeks before the race this year, my youngest, Max, broke his arm (for the second time in 8 months–this time while playing the-floor-is-lava).

He was disappointed that he couldn’t do the tri, but understood. There were tears, but Max has a positive, fun, jovial disposition. While others might sulk, he had a moment of sad, then moved on to joking and cheering… until the night before the race, when he started to cry. Overcome with disappointment, he cried, “I weally wanted to do this twiathlon…”

I had a choice: I could tell him to simply chin-up and deal with the consequences of his broken arm, I could join him in his devastation and call off his brother’s tri, or I could meet him with compassion and find a way to help him work through it.

It was heart-breaking. But Max embraced his role, cheering his brother and their friends on. We prayed. Others prayed, and he cheered his friends on. You never would have known Max was the least bit upset.

Alex, my oldest, started his race as expected: confident, nervous, excited.

His 100 yard breast stroke was steady through the cold waters of the freshly drawn pool.

He ran through transition with a double dimpled smile, blowing a kiss as he ran by.

He sped out of transition on his bike with confidence.

And we eagerly waited his return…

After a while I knew something was wrong; it was taking too long.

Finally Max spotted him off in the distance.

As Alex got closer, he was going too slow. My Mom-Spidey-Senses were going off and I ran towards him.

Tears streaming, Alex wailed that his chain had been broken for the whole, entire 3 mile bike. It had fallen off three times; a volunteer helped fix it the first two, but not the third time. So he had to walk/scoot it in, incredibly frustrating and costing him buckets of time.

Crying, he ran his bike through the end of the course, into transition.

Disappointed, Alex started his run strong… but the frustration overcame him and he began to just walk, crying.

Tingling Spidey-Mom-Senses, I see my son. He hasn’t given up. He’s discouraged, but he hasn’t given up.

All he can see is the failure. The failure to accomplish the bike as he knew he could.

He couldn’t see the tenacity. He couldn’t see the determination. He couldn’t see the strength.

He could only feel the pain and disappointment, which were real… which were huge.

I saw my son cross the finish line against all odds. But I couldn’t cry with pride, because he was simply devastated.

So I took him by the hand and walked him over to his coach. A multiple Ironman, multiple ultra-marathon (100 mile) finisher, who coached kids at the YMCA for free, just to share his love of the sport. A grandfather, who loves kids as much as he loves the sport… who is one of the best examples of coaching that this professional educator has ever witnessed in her life.

And this Ironman Coach Grandpa explains to Alex that his determination to finish–that he didn’t just give up–was one of the most inspirational things he had ever seen.

Still, Alex couldn’t understand. Still, Alex couldn’t comprehend. So Coach Grandpa asked if he could take a picture and post his story on Facebook. Because he was certain that there were other Triathletes that would find inspiration from this 9 year old.

We packed up and headed home. And I insisted that Alex read the comments on Coach Grandpa and my own Facebook posts. For some reason, when he started to read the comments of strangers who were moved by the fact that he still finished the race, things started to shift for him. “Wow.”

Why is it that we doubt the words of those who love us, but accept the words of those we don’t know?

Regardless, those words were heard. The affirmations of strangers were heard. The encouragement of his Coach was heard. And Alex started to look at his Triathlon in a new light.

Where he once saw failure, he started to see determination.

Where he once saw frustration, he started to see success.

And I finally let myself cry, but not for hurt, or pain, or disappointment. Rather for pride.

What may have been my son’s worst experience ever may have been the proudest Mom-moment of my life.

Because he finished.

Not because he won, but because he didn’t give up. He finished.

My son faced adversity, felt the full brunt of it, and said to himself, “I could quit, but it’s only another 1/2 mile. I can make it.”

And he did. He finished.

There are so many lessons I take from this experience.

From Max who at 8 years old allowed himself to feel intense disappointment, yet didn’t let it consume him… rather, he chose to cheer on his friends.
From Alex, my tenacious 9 1/2 year old, who didn’t give up.
From perfect strangers who not only found inspiration from Alex’s story, but who took the time to applaud his tenacity.
From a man who volunteers his time, talent, and treasure to help kids find success with and develop a love of his sport.
From my husband who sees the moments of real, in-the-trenches-mothering, applauds them, and captures them on film.

When Jesus said to love one another as I have loved you… this is what he meant. Yes, my kid did a great job at overcoming adversity, but he wouldn’t have been able to do it without you and me. When Jesus said “whatever you do to the least of my brothers and sisters, you do to me,” this is part of that.

As a Mom, when I love my kid in his time of need, I’m being Christ to him. As a community, when you reach out to someone with encouragement and love, you’re being Christ to him. You are loving one another as Christ loved us.

This is it. Right here, right now. And we did it. He finished. And he’s proud because of you. So thank you.

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest Apr 24,2016

Conversion, Forgiveness, Grace, Humility

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Modeling Humility

Looking for a resolution you can stick to in the New Year? How about modeling humility?

You know how most Catholics prefer to sit toward the back third of the Church? Not my family; we sit in the front pew. For one thing, the pew at the front is almost always available. For another, it helps my kids (and me) pay attention when we can actually see what’s going on. The problem, as you might imagine, is that the boys behavior is on public display.

As this post is about modeling humility–not perfectly behaved children at Mass–I’d like to make it clear: we don’t have that good-behavior thing down. I’ve made two-steps-forward, one-step-back progress with regards to Church-behavior, but we are far from having “arrived.”

Two-Steps Forward

I finally realized that growling whispered threats between pursed lips to SIT-STILL-AND-BE-QUIET was probably not helping them to develop a positive attitude toward Mass. So I changed my language: Everything we say and do at Mass needs to show respect and reverence to God.
I encourage my boys to use the Magnifikid or the Missalette to follow the Readings as well as all the rest of the Mass prayers. Because participation shows reverence and respect.

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest Jan 1,2015

Advent, Humility, Joy

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Preparing, Waiting, and Joy

I love how life teaches me about faith.

Advent is about waiting and preparation. I know that. I knew that. Except I didn’t really get it until the year I was pregnant. That was the year I encountered the blessed waiting of Advent as an expectant mother in her first trimester.

Up till then, my “preparations” were focused on gift-giving and party-attending. Don’t get me wrong – I planned, prepared, and purchased gifts from the heart. I organized Christmas caroling at the nursing home for my high school students. I participated in Giving Trees. It wasn’t that I was self-centered and materialistic… I just didn’t get the whole waiting and preparation thing.

But that Advent when I was pregnant with my first child, I sat at Church one Sunday, ever-so-aware of how nauseated I felt, ever-so-aware of the little life growing inside me, and ever-so-in-awe of the path that lie ahead. Preparation wasn’t about nursery colors, registries, and baby names. It was about preparing our lives–and our marriage–to receive and raise a child.

Fast forward nine years. I thought I knew what waiting and preparation were about. And then, on December 1st, the day after the First Sunday of Advent, my husband came home with the news that he was being furloughed. Furloughed is not unemployed; you technically keep your job but aren’t allowed to work until the company can afford to pay you. He’s an aerospace engineer, working for a company contracted by NASA… How long would the furlough last? Until contracts were signed and there were funds to pay for his position. Possibly in a day or so… possibly 4-5 weeks.

So we waited… and hoped… and prayed.

In the waiting, there was an absurd amount questioning (particularly second guessing financial decisions and employment possibilities) and the awareness of a humbling loss of control. From day to day there would be a glimmer of hope, and then a “no.” A lot of uncertainty.

Through it all, I was struck by a deep sense of perspective. We faced temporary unpaid leave. Many are in the midst of long-term unemployment. Others face terminal illnesses or a tragic loss of a loved one. Sure, we’d rather not be in this situation, but it could definitely be worse.

This past Friday, after two weeks of uncertainty, Peter went in to work for a meeting and then used up the last of his paid leave. There was one more glimmer of hope: his company had won a contract with three-persons-worth-of-work, but it was a matter of waiting to see if they would assign it to him.

Sure enough, the answer came Saturday night while we were at his boss’s house for a Christmas party. Praise God, Peter was assigned to part of that new project and could return to work on Monday. Awash in joy, I couldn’t wait to share the news!

The next morning was the Third Sunday of Advent – Gaudete Sunday, which is Latin for joy! We light the pink candle and remember to be joyful. Let me tell you, joy radiated from within, and it felt incredible!

Children seem to dabble in joy so easily, especially at Christmas; adults seem to struggle with stress, especially at Christmas.

We really do need that pink candle to remind us to be joyful.

Well, with this good news, I was determined to be joyful!

To be honest, although I had been setting aside money from Criagslisting old toys, I was hesitant to do any Christmas shopping until I knew whether we might need those funds in other ways. So between Amazon and all the other stores for all the other things, I’ve been buying gifts this week. It’s a little crazy out there. It’s tempting to forget joy and embrace stress… after all, everyone else is doing it.

So every day this week, in the midst of every errand, I find myself pausing in reflective prayer: I am so thankful for the opportunity to do this. I choose joy.

I invite you to do the same: choose joy!

How has your life taught you about faith recently?

How can you choose joy this week?

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest Dec 18,2014

Conversion, Humility, Life, Metanoia, Transformation

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Vanity of Vanities = First World Problems

So one of the things I love about living in my neighborhood is that we can bike–as a family–to Church, to friends houses, to the pool, to my husband’s work.

Sunday morning at 9:45am. I’m all excited that we’re actually walking out the door with plenty of time to bike the 1/2 mile and get to the 10 o’clock Mass without rushing. Everyone has bike helmets on, I’m loading stuff into my basket, and my husband grimly tells me that my front tire has a hole in the tube.

So we walked. Quickly. In the Houston heat and humidity. And got to Mass at 9:59am. Sweaty, but on time.

First World Problems.

The first time I heard the phrase “First World Problems” was on FaceBook, in a meme.

I didn’t know it was a meme. I read the shallow complaints common to American society and flipped out. [Me: THESE ARE NOT PROBLEMS!] A couple of FaceBook friends gently explained that it was an expression and what it meant.

First World Problems, also known as “White Whine,” are frustrations and complaints that are only experienced by privileged individuals in wealthy countries. It is typically used as a tongue-in-cheek comedic device to make light of trivial inconveniences.*

A couple of weeks ago, my Mom explained that she heard the phrase for the first time. It changed things for her: How privileged am I to have THESE problems?

So when I heard the readings today – readings I have heard a gazillion times before – I felt like I was being called out on something.

Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth,
vanity of vanities! All things are vanity!
Here is one who has labored with wisdom and knowledge and skill,
and yet to another who has not labored over it,
he must leave property.
This also is vanity and a great misfortune.
For what profit comes to man from all the toil and anxiety of heart
with which he has labored under the sun?
All his days sorrow and grief are his occupation;
even at night his mind is not at rest.
This also is vanity. (Ecclesiastes 1:2; 2:21-23)

The word vanity translates as “breath” or “vapor,” as in breath of breath or vapor of vapors. Designating something that lacks substance, in effect, meaning “nothing of nothing-ness.”

First World Problems.

Though I was disappointed that we couldn’t bike to Church–and that I’ll have to buy a new tube to fix the tire–I was fully aware that this wasn’t a real problem. I take a look at my FaceBook feed… and I see a lot of complaining about things that aren’t really problems. It’s so easy to complain. Too easy. And all too often, I join in the misery.

Vanity of vanities! All things are vanity!

I read the book A Complaint Free World a while ago… I love the theory (complaining less; appreciating more). I also recently lost a dear friend to cancer… there’s nothing quite like watching your friend’s newly widowed husband having to care for three kids under the age of nine to put things in perspective for you.

There’s a lot of things that we expend our time, energy, money, and effort worrying about that really don’t matter.

Brothers and sisters:
If you were raised with Christ, seek what is above,
where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Think of what is above, not of what is on earth.
Colossians 3:1-2

Throughout Scripture, Jesus calls us to conversion. The Greek word is metanoia. A change in our whole being; a transformation grounded in repentance. Metanoia is less about rejecting earthly things and more about recognizing what really matters.

What if, instead of complaining about things that don’t really matter, we saw each inconvenience as an opportunity to embrace something new. Or simply thought “How privileged am I to have these problems?”

If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts. (Ps 95:7-8)

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Read More Julie Dienno-Demarest Aug 4,2013

Category : Humility

Reflecting on the Litany of Humility

Humility is about LOVE

Humility is about TRUTH.

It’s Not About Worthiness

The Virtue of Humility

Grant Me the Grace

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Going the Distance: On Heartbreak, Hope, and Love

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Modeling Humility

Two-Steps Forward

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Preparing, Waiting, and Joy

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Vanity of Vanities = First World Problems

First World Problems.

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