In my family of voracious readers, we refer to the list of books we have lined up to read as “the queue.” So many books have been suggested in so many categories, they line up… and generally they’ll be read in the order in which they were received. Sadly, sometimes that line is longer and slower than the DMV because… well, time is limited.
Just this week, there was a series of coincidences [read: Holy Spirit] that led me to Ronald Rolheiser’s book Prayer: Our Deepest Longing (2013). I recognized the author from working with ACTS Retreats, because Holy Longing (2009) – Fr. Rolheiser’s incredible book on Christian discipleship – has a chapter dedicated to Paschal Mystery spirituality, which is cited in the Director’s Manual, as it is at the heart of the ACTS Retreat. Fr Rolheiser, OMI is president of the Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, Texas, which is also the home of ACTS Missions.
What happened was, Boston College’s School of Theology and Ministry Continuing Education has been advertising an opportunity to participate in a 5-week online book club on Prayer: Our Deepest Longing. BC STM’s Continuing Ed Facebook page had a video of Fr. Rolheiser offering some insights from his book on Prayer. The short video had me intrigued, but my “queue” is getting ridiculously long.
But, Holy Spirit.
So, I decided to try my first audiobook on “Audible,” I figured that I could listen while cleaning my kitchen, running errands, and what-have-you. Although the rest of the world may have known the joys of audiobooks for years (especially while driving), it’s completely new to me.
Thank you, Holy Spirit; it was exactly what I needed! To be honest, after listening to the first three chapters, I ordered a hard copy of the book just so I can underline and post-it-flag for easy reference. It’s THAT good!
Prayer: Our Deepest Longing is a book that has already nourished my own prayer life, and it’s one I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone seeking to deepen their prayer life – from beginners to seasoned prayer warriors. Read it, listen to it, or even consider trying BC’s online book club!
Somehow, Rolheiser manages to be both encouraging and challenging. He had me at the preface:
“There is no bad way to pray….[There’s] only one non-negotiable rule: You have to show up for prayer and you have to show up regularly.”
I hope you find a way to enjoy Prayer: Our Deepest Longing. If you do, come back and leave a comment about your favorite insights!
With simple, down-to-earth language, Rolheiser illustrates the importance of prayer and offers techniques for how to pray, using examples from daily life, Scripture, and contemporary writers. He delves into the places that we fear to go with our issues about prayer, encouraging us with gentle kindness and words of hope and inspiration.
The book is divided into five sections.
Why Pray? Illustrates the purposes and benefits of prayer for ourselves, as well as for the broader Catholic community and even the world.
Why Is It so Hard? Notes how our contemporary culture conspires against taking time out for solitude and prayer, and how our own ego—with its fears, restlessness, and narcissism—can work against developing a deeper relationship with God through prayer.
What Is Prayer? Outlines the two basic types of prayer, that is, affective (personal) and priestly (for the world). Describes the many ways or methods for each type of prayer, such as meditation, contemplation, the divine office, the Mass, and Scripture.
Sticking with It. This section covers the development of mature prayer, discussing ways to pray in times of boredom, disillusionment, crisis, helplessness, or after a loved one’s death.
Mysticism. Here we learn about this increasingly popular form of intimate relationship with God.
This is a book for all manner of believers, whether your faith is solidly rooted, wavering between childhood religion and adult faith, or just not sure what you believe—or whether you believe at all. It addresses topics such as narcissism, pragmatism, efficiency, and self-gratification that work against a healthy spiritual life. Rolheiser takes us to a place of contact and comfort, in relationship not only with God but with our true selves as well.
I originally wrote this post three years ago, shortly after having lost a dear friend to breast cancer. Of course, in the 3-year cycle of readings, Luke’s account of the Transfiguration is (once again) the Gospel for the Second Sunday of Lent. This reflection also makes its way into the first chapter of Continuing the Journey(which is now available in both English and Spanish, with a Leaders Guide–also in both English and Spanish… but I digress).
From February 2013…
My dear friend Amalour passed away last week. And in my grief, I am still having a difficult time paying attention to almost everything. So it didn’t come as any surprise when I had a hard time following the homily today at mass. The Gospel on the Second Sunday of Lent is the Transfiguration (Luke 9:28:-36).
Jesus took Peter, John, and James and went up the mountain to pray. While he was praying his face changed in appearance and his clothing became dazzling white. And behold, two men were conversing with him, Moses and Elijah, who appeared in glory and spoke of his exodus that he was going to accomplish in Jerusalem. Peter and his companions had been overcome by sleep, but becoming fully awake, they saw his glory and the two men standing with him. As they were about to part from him, Peter said to Jesus, “Master, it is good that we are here; let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” But he did not know what he was saying. While he was still speaking, a cloud came and cast a shadow over them, and they became frightened when they entered the cloud. Then from the cloud came a voice that said, “This is my chosen Son; listen to him.” After the voice had spoken, Jesus was found alone. They fell silent and did not at that time tell anyone what they had seen.
Years ago (before kids), I facilitated a faith sharing group at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish in Maryland, and one of the women explained how the story of the Transfiguration was one of her favorites because it offered a glimpse of Jesus Christ glorified. I heard her words and felt moved by her passion, but that’s not how the story struck me.
Personally, I find myself identifying with Peter, James, and John. Like them, I would have been happy to follow Jesus up a mountain. Like them, I would have probably been overcome by sleep. Even before kids. And like them, I would probably been so awestruck, I would have been happy to to pitch a tent.
Actually, I would have been happy to have my husband pitch the tent while I set up camp.
At the Vigil service for Amalour’s funeral, her husband Brian offered one of the most moving eulogies I have ever heard. Brian talked about Amalour’s unending quest for improvement. In their marriage–in their lives–they’d do the work and come to a plateau. It was a nice plateau, on which Brian was ready to pitch a tent and enjoy the view. And Amalour would say no; we’re not there yet. We can do better than this. There’s more to see; there’s more to do. Again, and again, and again in their lives, Amalour was always striving for something more… for something better… in all the ways that mattered.
I am a do-er. I’d like to think of myself as someone who walked alongside Amalour on the path of growth. In many ways, I know I have. But I also know one of my weaknesses is doing too much. I have been guilty of distracting myself from the real, true, important things in life with busyness… filling my days with so much stuff that I don’t have time to think. When I’m in this mindset, pitching a tent and enjoying the view sounds like a GREAT idea! In fact, I’ll even busy myself with setting up camp.
Thing is, life is more of a journey than a sit-down and watch (or in my case, get everything ready to sit down and watch). And sometimes that journey is hard. Very hard.
I can imagine that witnessing the Transfiguration was to be a gift to inspire Peter, James, and John for the journey that lay before them. It was not meant to be the end of the journey… or even a break from the journey.
So the challenge, I suppose, is to take those moments of grace, peace, hope, and light and allow them to inspire us along the path. To avoid the temptation to pitch a tent as though that moment was the end-all-be-all. To avoid the temptation to busy ourselves with setting up camp instead of doing the real work of journeying through life.
Adults crave quality connections with other adults, where we can have good conversations about the things in life that really matter.
For a variety of reasons, we don’t always have the opportunity to do this; to have these quality connections and conversations. Our schedules become busy with kids, work, commitments, activities, sports, responsibilities, and so on. We often find ourselves socializing with the people who keep similar schedules in similar spaces. We talk about the things we do or the things we see, but not always what’s going on inside our hearts.
Sharing the yearnings of our hearts–our hopes and dreams, our joys and sorrows, our brokenness in pain and suffering–takes trust, vulnerability, and love.
Trust, vulnerability, and love aren’t characteristics easily found in today’s impersonal, fast paced, technology dependent world.
This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:35)
Yet trust, vulnerability, and love are at the heart of true spirituality, discipleship, and Christian community. Or at least, that’s what Jesus had intended, that’s what St. Paul wrote about, and that’s what Acts of the Apostles describes.
Every day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple area and to breaking bread in their homes. They ate their meals with exultation and sincerity of heart, praising God and enjoying favor with all the people. (Acts 2:46-47)
The experience of quality conversations and connections is invigorating; these moments fill our hearts with love, peace, and joy. When the topics touch upon spirituality, discipleship, and Christian living, these conversations are evangelizing–kindling our passion for God.
So when, and where, and how can we find quality connections and quality conversations with other adults? In today’s Church, we can certainly find this within small faith sharing groups.
My last post explained what a small faith sharing group is. This post begins with a vision for what kind of experience we want (quality conversations and connections) and will focus on Howto implement small faith sharing groups.
Five Keys For Small Faith Sharing Groups
Just because you get a group of people together and give them a topic does not mean you’ll get these fantastic evangelizing conversations and quality connections. Have you ever been part of a never-ending meeting that goes nowhere? Or one that devolves into either a therapy session or venting and complaining?
Beyond the logistics of who, where, when (and what to discuss), there needs to be a great deal of attention dedicated to how. I suggest Five Key C’s to cultivating evangelizing conversations and quality connections:
Confidentiality – the atmosphere of the small faith sharing group needs to be one of trust, vulnerability, and love. Whatever is shared in these conversations must not be repeated in any other context. This is a confidentiality based in agapic-love, willing of another’s good… the only exception to confidentiality is if someone’s life is in danger. Care and concern for the well-being of another always takes precedence when someone’s life is in danger.
Conversation– participants enter into small faith sharing groups with the expectation of conversation. Good conversations extend from mutual respect. To get to a place of mutual respect, sometimes “ground rules” need to be made explicit, such as:
encourage laughter and joy… but never at the expense of another.
express concern for one another… but not by offering advice, criticism, or judgment of others.
recognize and validate emotions… but resist the temptation to counsel, advise, or solve problems (unless specifically asked for).
honor one another’s time with both brevity (when sharing) and patience (when listening).
Coordination through Facilitators – a good facilitator is a good listener and servant/leader. More than a host or a coordinator that plans the meetings, a good facilitator knows how to:
invite everyone’s participation in the conversation… but not force it; no one has an obligation to share. Some folks are natural talkers who easily share; others are introverts that need time to think and process. A facilitator’s job is to prevent “conversation ball-hogs” by making sure that everyone has a chance to speak and contribute.
be patient as participants share their stories… but also be attentive to staying focused on the discussion topic and keeping the discussion within the time allotted.
Conversionand Application to Life – it is easier to talk critical analysis–what you think about a topic–than it is to consider how the material applies to your life. It’s easier to talk about concepts or other people’s stories than it is to consider how the wisdom of Scripture and Tradition is personally calling you to conversion in your own life. Faith sharing group discussions are concerned with:
How you currently experience [the topic] in your life – whether with success or struggles.
Ways in which you feel [the topic] is calling you to live your faith differently or better… a call to action of sorts.
Centered on Prayer – Faith sharing groups always need to be centered on our Life-giving, Loving God. We need to remember to:
begin by inviting the Holy Spirit into the discussion.
choose discussion material that helps us focus on how the wisdom of the Christian Tradition applies to our lives today.
pray over, for, with our brothers and sisters in Christ who are struggling through difficult times… even if it is in the middle of the discussion.
end with a prayer of thanksgiving and/or petition.
One last thing to keep in mind when working with adults in a faith sharing group setting: busy adults don’t always have the time to read and prepare. Or sometimes they do read and prepare, but then time passes, life happens, and they forget. In a classroom setting, it makes sense to emphasize coming to class prepared. In a faith sharing group, the focus is on evangelization; quality connections and conversation about faith and life.
Catechesis is an essential “moment” in the process of evangelization (General Directory for Catechesis, 63).
To help adults focus their conversation, it’s always a good idea to offer a summary that reminds participants about the key points in the material before opening the discussion.
Faith Sharing with Continuing the Journey
You know what material easily lends itself to small faith sharing group discussion? That’s right! My book, Continuing the Journey: Cultivating Lived Faith.
Even more, you know what will help with the Five Key C’s of cultivating evangelizing conversations and quality connections? My brand new Leader’s Guide.
I believe so strongly in the value of small faith sharing groups that I am offering the Leader’s Guide as either a free PDF (click here), or a hard copy can be mailed to you for $5.99 with free Prime Shipping through Amazon.
Note: all Amazon links include my affiliate link, which means Amazon gives me a couple of extra pennies from your purchase.
Go forth and share your faith! And let me know if I can be of any help in the process. In addition to these resources, I am available to offer trainings and workshops for small faith sharing group facilitators. Just email me!
Have you ever been on a spiritual retreat and witnessed that profound change in a person? Maybe you were on the Team giving the retreat. Maybe you were a participant. Maybe that person was you.
That change–that shift–is the work of the Holy Spirit. It’s a transformation in faith. And it’s such a privilege to witness… it’s why I do what I do.
It’s the “AH-HA” moment that teachers live for; when we get to be a part of someone making a connection between what they are learning and what they are doing. They get it… they really get it! In religious education and on retreats, that AH-HA moment is filled with the grace and joy because we have the privilege of participating with the divine.
For it is in giving that we receive.
So we see this transformation in faith happen on a retreat. We see retreatants come to the end of the retreat on fire with the Holy Spirit, receptive, vulnerable, open, and joyful… and asking us how to continue that retreat experience.
That receptive, vulnerable, open, joyful person on fire with the Holy Spirit is why I wrote Continuing the Journey: Cultivating Lived Faith. I wrote it for adults to read, reflect, and journal on their own, and then come together to discuss their answers in small faith sharing groups. It’s not that a person can’t read it on their own–they certainly can! It’s more that those retreatants on fire with the Holy Spirit need something–deserve something–that can help them keep that fire alive as they return to daily life.
That something is lived faith. That fire is evangelization. And a fantastic way to do this is through a small faith sharing group.
Special Pricing is available for bulk orders of 10+ or 25+ on my book page.
Though I initially wrote Continuing the Journey to be a resource for folks who have attended a retreat and were looking to continue that retreat experience, ultimately it became a resource for all adults who are looking to learn, reflect upon, and grow in their faith. Regardless of where they may find themselves on their faith journey.
For those that haven’t gotten a copy yet, it has 28 chapters on a variety of topics:
each is short and includes reflection questions.
It is easy to understand, and it will really make you think.
It is educational and catechetical, referencing both Scripture and Tradition.
It is evangelizing because it gets you excited about living out your faith
It is great for independent study and journaling or a book club/faith sharing group discussion.
Find out more information and order your copy on the book page!
Special Pricing is available for bulk orders of 10+ or 25+ on my 
